A close friend once told me to walk through Grand Central Station and, as the sun streams through the center, to just stand there and exist. No agenda, no rush—just a moment of pure bliss.

Over the course of the last two months, I have been around someone who, symbolically, gives me that feeling. A presence that reminds me to pause, to embrace stillness, to simply exist within the messiness of my life.

 And,  for the first time, I can say with confidence—I am truly content.

The funny thing is, when I say that, people assume it’s because my life checks all the right boxes. They think it must be because I have a great partner, wonderful kids, and a fulfilling job. And while all of that may be more or less true, my life is far from perfect. In fact, if anything, I am in  a very messy situation.

I am content not because everything is in place, but because I have finally arrived at a place where I am comfortable with the uncomfortable.

The Morning Dance of Imperfection

The other morning was a perfect example. It was one of those rough starts—I had barely slept, tossing and turning through a restless night. I dragged myself out of bed, pushed through an early morning workout, and walked back through the front door to find all three kids in low spirits, sulking over small, random things.

In the past, I might have rushed to fix their moods, to offer solutions, to make everything okay. But that morning, I did something different.

I danced.

I put on Cool Kids on Alexa, twirled around the room, and pulled them into an impromptu dance party. We laughed, we moved, we let the tension exist without trying to erase it.

I did not fix anything. And truthfully, I simply couldn’t.

 Being Un-Numb

For so long, I believed peace was found in control—controlling my circumstances, managing emotions, smoothing out life’s rough edges. Maintaining an image of composure and I was almost petrified of showing my own rough edges, feeling unnerved by the opinions of everyone around me.

But now, I am leaning into curiosity.

What if I say: This is me, in all my deviances, in all my rawness—and instead of fearing judgment, I see if I can spark curiosity instead?